The quest for a personal and unique identity attracts a great deal of attention these days.
Contemporary society seems to urge each of us to adopt an identity, a definition of who we are complete with adjectives and pronouns. Once we have defined that static identity, we have the right to demand that society accept our declaration of selfhood and confirm our “right” to be respected according to our unique needs.
Pick one or several adjectives: I am Black or white; cisgender, gay, gender neutral or polyamorous; under-privileged or elite; under-employed, or unemployed; conservative, liberal, moderate, a MAGA or a never-Trumper; smart, lucky, an introvert, an extrovert, etc., etc. And don’t forget to pick your pronouns!
By choosing the adjectives which define us, we each construct an identity box. That box marks us as a one-of-a-kind individual whose needs are paramount. We are encouraged to demand that our self-chosen identity be respected in the way society treats us.
This view of the world looks like an extension of the existential call to live an authentic life, i.e., to take control and write (author) our own story. But many things are beyond our control and attempting to take total control, make the right choices, often leads to disappointment and failure.
There are several problems with identity construction as practiced today. My favorite philosopher, Hannah Arendt, expresses it this way: “In society everybody must answer the question of what he is – as distinct from the question of who he is and the answer of course can never be: I am unique, not because of the implicit arrogance but because the answer would be meaningless.”
Defining “what” as opposed to “who” we are requires total engagement with society: the environment, the people and the ever-changing circumstances which surround us. Of course, that involves the freedom to explore all approaches to life.
As is often noted, human beings are social animals. We thrive on interaction with those around us, and to thrive in that fashion requires flexibility. I am very sympathetic with today’s young Americans trying to navigate their way in the confusing, demanding and angry society in which they find themselves.
It is, however, too confining for anyone, especially a young adult, to be forced to say, “I am this,” or “I am that.” Youth should be a time when you are free to explore all possibilities. To declare a static identity is limiting.
The call to definitively define one’s unique self, especially as the hormones of youth are surging, has only resulted in increasing isolation, suicides, anxiety and depression. Sartre might define this approach to life as “being” rather than “becoming.”
I’m approaching my eighth decade of life and can attest to adopting (and thriving under) several identities. Each move in life gave me the (often welcome) opportunity to reinvent myself. My friends, enemies, interests, ideas and occupations have changed over the years. I’ve become a person I could not even imagine in my youth.
Dig into life; interact with lots of people; have adventures; welcome change in identity as well as circumstances. Discover “what” you are; don’t just proclaim “who” you are. Don’t be a noun. Be a verb!
Katherine A. Burgess of Durango is a retired college instructor with a Ph.D. in the humanities.
