As Fort Lewis College students sat down to a five-course feast earlier this week, nerves were on edge. They might, after all, choose the wrong utensil or make an inexcusable faux pas.
Knowing there’s more to an occupation than knowledge of one’s field, Fort Lewis College Career Services offers an array of educational opportunities to help students build social skills. Foremost among the offerings is the Etiquette Dinner, which was held for the 16th year earlier this week.
“When we started the dinner, it was because we used to do a debrief with job interviewers,” said FLC hospitality and business professor emeritus Roy Cook, who has taught the how-tos at the dinner for all but two years. “They would say our students are wonderful with the academics, but on the second interview, they would make little missteps they shouldn’t. They don’t learn this at the supper table anymore.”
More than 100 students signed up for the meal, coming from a variety of majors, including business and the sciences.
“Etiquette is so everyone knows how to interact, so there’s common courtesy,” said Cook, who wrote Guide to Business Etiquette with his wife, Gwen. “It’s a code of polite conduct. We’re talking about dining etiquette here, but there’s also etiquette for all kinds of things, dressing, phone calls, golf and flying.”
The dinner used to be limited to juniors and seniors, Career Services counselor Jill Kolodzne said, but now it’s open to all students.
“We realized younger students are going out on internships or shadowing professionals, and they need these skills, too,” she said. “Students promote the dinner to other students, and we have faculty tell students they went to the dinner and it really helped, or other faculty say they wish they had gone.”
The skills are useful across many careers, including in academia, Cook said.
“One of our president’s (Dene Thomas) pet peeves is how you hold the utensils,” he said. “If you don’t hold them correctly while at a meal with her, you don’t get the job, you don’t get the scholarship, you don’t get the promotion. Go to jail, do not pass go, it will be bad.”
Business administration major and student ambassador Michael Watchman last week attended his second Etiquette Dinner.
“I already knew what to expect, but I wanted to brush up on what I forgot,” he said. “You might need this for your career so you look as professional as possible, and to build confidence in how you present yourself – not just for a career, but maybe for meeting a future mother-in-law or father-in-law.”
College is poor preparation for these skills, Cook said.
“Cutting food into small pieces is a way not to just inhale it,” he told the students. “It’s hard coming out of college, when you’re used to eating a bowl of ramen in 10 seconds.”
There’s one reason he comes back year after year to teach at the dinner, he said.
“I’ve been retired a long time,” Cook said. “I still get thank-you notes and emails from students who’ve attended. And I get the occasional question, like how one handles chopsticks.”
As an icebreaker, students from Lorraine Taylor’s hospitality class created etiquette questions for discussion. Before going into their five-course meal, the students, dressed mostly in business attire, answered trivia questions such as, “When you’re at a cocktail reception, in which hand should you hold your glass?” and “Which of these foods can be eaten with your fingers: asparagus, shrimp cocktail, bacon or cherry tomatoes?”
Many used common sense to figure out the answers.
“You should hold your glass in the left hand, so you can shake hands with your right hand,” Cook said. “That way, you can avoid having either a warm, sweaty or a cold, clammy hand.”
The answer to the second question used an old professor’s trick, the dreaded all of the above, but the asparagus must be firm and the bacon crisp. If the dinner is formal, cherry tomatoes should be cut or pierced with a fork because they can become “a projectile,” Cook said.
When it comes to bad menu choices during lunch or dinner interviews, the list includes rice, peas, tacos, hamburgers and any stringy pasta, such as linguine and spaghetti, he said. And the offer of an alcoholic beverage is always a loaded question.
“It’s very dangerous, particularly in your age group,” Cook said. “In general, you should avoid it, particularly when interviewing. But if you’re over 21 and interviewing for a job at Ska (Brewing Co.), and they offer you a beer, you’re not going to say, ‘Oh, no, I never touch that stuff.’”
abutler@durangoherald.com
Did you know?
Have you ever wondered where the rules of etiquette began?
Fort Lewis College professor emeritus Roy Cook shared historical facts about the development of etiquette at the Etiquette Dinner on Tuesday:
Thank the Middle East for the fork. It arrived in Europe after a Venetian merchant fell in love with a Byzantine princess circa 1000 A.D., and the revolutionary eating utensils were included in her dowry the newlyweds took back to Italy. It was a false start – clergy at the time thought God gave humans a thumb and the index and middle fingers for dining and blamed the use of forks for the bride’s early demise. So forks disappeared from European tables for another 600 years or so.
Shaking with the right hand began as a way to prove people were not carrying a knife and meant no harm to the person being greeted.
Salt plays an important role on a formal table. Because it was so valuable in historic times – the word salary is derived from it – the highest ranking person at the table should be seated in front of the salt and pepper. When someone asks you to pass the salt, always pass it with the pepper. And don’t “shortstop” it, Cook said – don’t salt your food as it passes by you to the original requester. Finally, never season your food before tasting it.
The word “etiquette” is derived from the French court of Louis XIV when aristocracy and other dining guests needed to learn the rules posted on their ticket – étiquette – before attending a royal banquet.
Ann Butler
